A MEDICAL STUDENT'S LOVE LETTER

Dear Phionah,

This is from the bottom of my chambered organ, the one you wrongfully got access to.
Whose working you have changed considerably.
From the feelings department, Yes! It now has one, thanks to you.

It’s about what you did to me, and still do anyway.
For altering my normal physiology, anatomy and biochemistry.
You give me a series of pathologies.

At first I was afraid you caused me angina. But then I realized it was arrhythmias and lots of asynchrony.
Did you have to also cause me major affective disorders? My CNS isn’t firing normally any more.

What I don’t get quite well is how you can be an NMJ muscle relaxant and a cardiac stimulant at the same time. Weren’t these functions mediated by different mechanisms?
You melt my knees, but again cause tachycardia.
You are a drug. But what mechanism do you use?

Mydriasis seems like one of your side effects, Coupled with hyperventilation and disorientation.
So far no drugs have been able to handle the pyresis and euphoria you give me.
Am WORIED that what started as a single dose effect has turned into dependence and addiction.
Funny thing I can’t get tolerant to you!

I hope you understand what am trying to say here because it’s your entire fault.
I need a remedy, an antidote or better still, a constant supply of you.
I don’t care what route you will be administered to me, oral or parenteral.
I prefer I.V. though, so you always flow into me.

Did I confuse you there? You always do that to me, so it doesn’t matter.

And hey, this should be done fast before I stumble onto another drug that would work similar to you.
I know I cant be quite sure about that. Because unlike you, the prototype, they would be more organ-selective.
I probably wouldn't enjoy much of the side effects you elicit!

Come to think about it,You risk being banned from the market for causing carcinomas or risking teratogenesis, remember the type D adverse drug reactions?…

I wish I could say more, BUT I really don’t know you.

Have to stop now. Coz I just saw you and I could get spastic paralysis or dystonias, am never sure what I will get when I see you.


Yours Blurt.