SHATTERED

Feel like a ghost. Going thru everything and not feeling shit about it.
Am mummified. You left me in tartars am trying to saw them up but all I get is needle pricks and am tired.
Heart's shattered into so many pieces, pickin em up just gets me bleeding.
And they say love is real, maybe we just didnt do it right. I say its too real it kills.


What happened to us? what was us? what would become of us?
Oh, excuse me, now I get it. There was never us, it was an illusion all this while and I stuck on it too tight now am deluded.
I hate me, I hate my guts, I hate my weaknesses and the falling game. A game? Yes, a game, coz that's what it all was at last.
You get in, you get the wheels turning and then you jump out and leave the wheels turning, aimlessly now am plunged. deep in the ocean and you always knew my weakness for swimming.

I'm going off, don't try stopping me
I'm going off, don't try saving
No flares, no vest, and no fear
Waves are washing me (out)
you got me singing to Frank oceans lyrics like they are hymns.

I still fall deep into that land, fantasy is what I call it now.
I cant stop thinking dirty, its the only clean image of you I have now.

ANGER
I pour it onto this one like I did onto the other, two days ago, and have been pouring thrice every week since you bolted and I feel nothing.
I see you. Their cries muffled by your moan and their expressions and begs to stop shadowed by that look on your face when we were... biting your lower lip with teary eyes, sweaty face, your body flowing with the rhythm.
 Am I too vivid? Is that shady and getting you edgy? You dont have to worry coz after thAt they dont even say bye. Am usually wasted and guilty and they so used and tormented. they walk-run off never to be seen again, and then its just you(in my head) and me again and I dont think I can take this anymore.

#GetOutaMyHead

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